Hold My Niece, Start a Family

"I don't want kids because I don't want to bring innocence into this cruel world."

"I don't want kids because climate change is so bad, it is unfair to contribute to that."

"I don't want kids, because I want to be able to spend all my money and time on myself."

The Lies we Tell Ourselves

1 of the above 3 statements is the final step in the final stage required to transition out of anti-natalism. Admitting reality. If you ask the average person above the age of 21, 'Do you want kids?', they will likely say no, and give a bullshit reason like 1 or 2, when in reality, its likely just 3. I was one of those people. For many years, I was of the 43% of men who claim they don't want children (aged 18-34.) There are literal communities build around anti-natalism, and 'childfree'. There is an acronym called DINK (Dual Income No Kids) that describes a couple who has 2 income streams and no kids. These communities are perpetuating the anti-child / anti-natalist culture that has already become problematic in other countries and is going to be looked back upon in the future as one of the greatest threats to humanity's existence. Let's jump into it.

Freedom isn't Free

As someone who was once allured by the idea of having potentially "freedom" of children's cost on my life, I know the arguments against having kids. I regurgitated said arguments to my peers when asked, "Tony, do you want kids?". The only thing I can say without shame looking back on this is that I was not one of the people who aggressively pushed anti-natalism on others, and I didn't get angry towards folks who simply asked me that question. These 2 traits are common amongst anti-natalists. The incentive program is to stay childless. It all changed with one experience.

Not So Obvious

On Christmas, I held my niece (the first child of any of my brothers.) As soon as I held my niece, I knew, "I want one of these." I was nervous to hold her, because I didn't even know how to hold an infant. Arguably, men don't belong around infants, but that's a topic for a future discussion. The fear of hurting my niece from simply holding her was immediately extinguished by the kind and encouraging words from my brother and my sister in law. I remember this moment vividly. I reached my finger out towards her hand, and she grabbed my finger. This is a human that is in part genetically related to me who cannot communicate with language, but is telling me 'I love you' with an action. This is arguably more meaningful than a person saying that to me, since actions speak louder than words.

A New Perspective

Needless to say, my position was changed overnight on kids. This changed the framework that I viewed almost every aspect of life moving forward. Every time I was at grocery store and I saw a cute kid / infant, I smiled, thinking, "One day, I'll be raising my own kids." I started respecting good fathers and good mothers more. I started viewing my own actions from the lens of, "Does this action make forward traction towards the goal of meeting a wife, and starting a family?"

There's Still Hope

If I can encourage you as a reader to take home one thing from this, it is that you should re-assess your viewpoint on starting a family. It is life's biggest project. It provides purpose to those who are purposeless. It brings light into a dark world. Hold your niece.